Mur murs

Mur murs. Agnès Varda, 1980.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 6) released 2020. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 82 minutes.

Summary: Prolonged and depressing implications.

While there are no actual depictions of pigs being murdered and butchered, there is a lengthy scene depicting an enormous mural that wraps around the entire exterior of a slaughterhouse/meat processing center, beginning around 1:02:00. The painting depicts the lives of pigs ranging from bucolic normalcy to their being herded into livestock trucks, also interjected with that creepy commercial tendency to depict pigs standing erect like humans and smacking their lips about bacon or leering lustfully into a barbecue pit. The focus is on the mural, intercut with brief interviews with indifferent employees, a scene of workers sharpening their butchering knives, and several quick images of carts of meat. 

I thought this long scene ruined the movie. Prior to viewing I was rather indifferent to Mur murs’ topic but then enjoyed the somewhat tedious film to some degree up until this “Farmer John” sequence, which pushed me back to No.

Mortal Engines

Mortal Engines. Christian Rivers, 2018.

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Edition screened: Universal Blu-ray, released 2021. English language. Runtime approximately 128 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Help Wanted Female

Help Wanted Female. John Hayes (as Harold Perkins), 1968.

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Edition screened: Included on Something Weird DVD Total Fulfillment Triple Feature, released 2011. Muddy English language. Runtime approximately 75 minutes.

Summary: No animals or references to animals in the film. 2.5/5❤

The Total Fulfillment Triple Feature also includes Rent-A-Girl (1965) and Aroused (1966).

The Great Ecstasy of Robert Carmichael

The Great Ecstasy of Robert Carmichael. Thomas Clay, 2005.

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Edition screened: Metrodome DVD, released 2009. English language. Runtime approximately 93 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

The Golden Compass

The Golden Compass. Chris Weitz, 2007.

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Edition screened: New Line DVD, released 2008. English language. Runtime approximately 113 minutes.

Summary: Mild fighting among animals. 

Details: 

1) A key aspect of the story is that the soul of each human takes the form of an animal that travels with the person. These animals sometimes attack each other, but there are no depictions of violent injury, blood, or death. Encounters are more like short cat fights.

2) Near the end of the film an army attacks an ice bear, including tethering him with ropes and intending to shoot him. The ice bear prevails without noticeable injury. He then gets into a fight with another ice bear and sustains a broken front leg, yet still lands a KO power punch. We see him running off in triumph with his little girl friend hero, so the broken leg must have been on autoheal. The end!

The Girl in Room 2A

The Girl in Room 2A (La casa della paura). William Rose and Dick Randall, 1974.

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Edition screened: Included in Vinegar Syndrome box set #339 Forgotten Gialli Volume 2, released 2020. Original Italian or English dub. Runtime approximately 86 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Elsa la rose

Elsa la rose. Agnès Varda, 1966.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 5) released 2020. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 20 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Elevator to the Gallows

Elevator to the Gallows (Ascenseur pour l'échafaud). Louis Malle, 1957.

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Edition screened: Included on Criterion DVD #335, released 2006. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 92 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals, although that kitty should not be walking on the balcony railing.

A 1957 Gottlieb Flag-Ship can be seen through a café window at 26:39, plus three more in a lounge later in the film: a 1953 Gottlieb Shindig at 46:oo, a 1950 Williams Rag Mop and a 1947 Keeney Cover Girl around 46:48, and the Rag Mop again later at around 48:00.

Donnie Darko

Donnie Darko. Richard Kelly, 2001.

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Edition screened: Arrow Blu-ray ‘Director’s Cut’, released 2017. English language. Runtime approximately 133 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

The Arrow release also includes Kelly’s early film The Goodbye Place. 

A 1980 Williams Blackout is in the arcade, 1:05:12.

Documenteur

Documenteur. Agnès Varda, 1981.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 6) released 2020. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 66 minutes.

Summary: Unpleasant fishing scene.

Details: A rather brutal scene of removing a hook after it has been swallowed by a fish, followed by a typical scene of a just-caught fish being thrown into a dry bucket to gasp and suffocate, 4:33-5:28.

Partial view of the cabinet of an identified pinball machine in the office of the production company, first seen at 35:04.

The Creatures

The Creatures (Les créatures). Agnès Varda, 1966.

😿 😿

Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 5) released 2020. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 94 minutes.

Summary: Extended scene with a dead cat.

Details:

1) During the opening credits, two brief scenes of crabs and eels dumped on the floor of a small fishing boat and struggling, 4:48-4:50 ad 4:58-5:02.

2) Extended scene involving a dead black cat that appears to be a genuine stiff corpse. We see the dead cat at the front of the house at 22:25, and Michel Piccoli finally picks it up at 22:44. Piccoli carries the dead cat into town, engages in arguments about who might have killed it, and gets into a fight wherein he beats people with the stiff dead cat. Ultimately we see him roughly dump the cat into a shallow grave. All of this wraps up at 26:28.

 

I suspect the use of a dead cat as a melee weapon sounds weird. In the context of this structurally complex film, it is both weirder and less weird than my brief description suggests. The incident may or may not, in part or completely, have been a fiction Piccoli’s character was penning and/or caused by the meddling of a local evil genius with mind-control ability. 

The Bloodhound

The Bloodhound. Patrick Picard, 2020.

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Edition screened: Arrow Blu-ray, released 2021. English language. Runtime approximately 72 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

The Arrow release also includes four short films by Picard, Bad Dream, The Muffled Hammerfall in Action, The Mosaic Code, and Wiggleworm, each less than one minute in length. These short projects manipulate video to create artful special effects, then integrate that product with evocative audio. They are polished rather than student-like and I rather enjoyed watching them.

Black Panthers

Black Panthers. Agnès Varda, 1968.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 6) released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 28 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Bedevilled

Bedevilled (The Whole Story of Kim Bok-nam's Murder Case/Kim Bok-nam salinsageonui jeonmal). Jang Cheol-soo, 2010.

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Edition screened: Well Go DVD, released 2012. Korean language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 115 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Barking Dogs Never Bite

Barking Dogs Never Bite (Flandersui gae). Bong Joon-ho, 2000.

😿😿😿

Edition screened: Not viewed; submitted by a kind reader. Korean language. Runtime approximately 110 minutes.

Summary: At the beginning of the film, a man who is annoyed by a barking dog attempts to kill it in various ways such as throwing it from the top of the apartment building and strangling it with a rope. Before the film starts there is a caption that says something like “the scenes with dogs were shot under the supervision of doctors” which does not justify the fact that the dogs clearly were abused.

Aroused

Aroused. Anton Holden, 1966.

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Edition screened: Included on Something Weird DVD Total Fulfillment Triple Feature, released 2011. Muddy English language. Runtime approximately 78 minutes.

Summary: No animals or references to animals in the film. 2.5/5❤

The Total Fulfillment Triple Feature also includes Rent-A-Girl (1965) and Help Wanted Female (1968).

Alpine Fire

Alpine Fire (Höhenfeuer). Fredi M. Murer, 1986.

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Edition screened: Not viewed; submitted by a kind reader. Swiss German language. Runtime approximately 119 minutes.

Summary: At the very beginning of the film, a brother and sister pick up dead mice in traps from the ground.

7rm., kitch., bath., ... for sale

7rm., kitch., bath., ... for sale (7p., cuis., s. de b., ... à saisir). Agnès Varda, 1985.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 8) released 2020. English languages. Runtime approximately 29 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Jean-Claude Drouot Returns to Fontenay-aux-Roses

Jean-Claude Drouot Returns to Fontenay-aux-Roses. Agnès Varda, 2006.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 5) released 2020. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 10 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

The renowned actor returns to the quaint filming location 40 years after the making of Le bonheur to reunite with locals at a neighborhood establishment. Drouot’s experience is exactly like reuniting with relatives whom you have not seen in decades. The residents say they are anxious to see Drouot again, but then are rude, self-absorbed, behave inappropriately, and offer him tiny portions of garbage food. Rather than “Hello, old friend! Thank you for visiting us!” he is greeted with multiple observations that he has put on some weight.

Lions Love (... and Lies)

Lions Love (... and Lies). Agnès Varda, 1969.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 6) released 2020. English languages. Runtime approximately 112 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Major Barbara

Major Barbara. Gabriel Pascal, 1941.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Eclipse Series 20 George Bernard Shaw on Film 3-DVD set, released 2010. English language. Runtime approximately 121 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Never Let Go

Never Let Go. John Guillermin, 1960.

😿😿

Edition screened: Not viewed, submitted by a friend. English language. Runtime approximately 90 minutes.

Summary: Depicted murder of a turtle.

Details: Peter Sellers, playing the villain, intentionally knocks over a glass aquarium belonging to newspaper vendor Melvyn Johns. The aquarium falls and breaks, and we see a few fish and a turtle on the floor. While the newspaper vendor reaches out for his pet turtle, Sellers grinds the turtle with the heel of his shoe, 35:26 - 35:41.

The Oral Generation

The Oral Generation. Richard Franklin, 1970.

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Edition screened: Vinegar Syndrome DVD #018, released 2013. English language. Cumulative runtime approximately 119 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

This early Vinegar Syndrome release is designed to suggest a show in a 1970 theatre. The DVD is divided into two tracks. The first track begins immediately without going to a menu and includes six short offerings that run without interruption for 54 minutes. Upon conclusion the second track, which is Franklin’s 65-minute feature film, launches immediately. First track:

• Oral Generation trailer (Richard Franklin, about 2 ½ minutes) 3.5/5❤
  An unusually enticing trailer for an adult film.
  
• Clinical Sex (Probably Richard Franklin as “Extraordinary Films”, about 10 ½ minutes) 3.5/5❤
  A common sex therapy story but with uncharacteristically attractive female patients.
  
• Any Way You Like It (Probably Richard Franklin as “Extraordinary Films”, about 11 minutes) 1.5/5❤
  A boring and terrible sex therapy story.
  
• Naked Sexes (Probably Richard Franklin as “Extraordinary Films”, about 8 ½ minutes) 0.5/5❤
  One of the goofiest things I’ve ever seen. The film begins with a woman starting a tape deck to play a short loop of silly laughing. She then joins three other average-looking 35-year-old nekked women in uncontrollable giggling, solo or rolling around on a bed nonsexually. This is intercut with short scenes of three sissy-looking body builders who smile, laugh a little, and flex for the camera.
  
• The Different Sexes (Probably Richard Franklin as “Extraordinary Films”, about 12 minutes) 0.5/5❤
  A young woman who is repeatedly described by the narrator as irresistibly sexy despite her appearance, participates in research for her college Sex Ed class. This is a difficult to watch.
  
• Oral Generation Outtake (Richard Franklin, about 9 minutes) 2/5❤
  An enthusiastic girl deserves a lot of credit for doing her best with a scrawny guy, a badly chosen sofa, and a small pile of inadequate pillows.
  
• The Oral Generation begins immediately thereafter (Richard Franklin, about 65 minutes) 3.5/5❤

The first 3 ½ minutes of The Oral Generation provide a generous drive through Manhattan’s film district, showing the vibrant marquees at their peek of prosperity along with neighboring pizza shops and other compatible small businesses. These clips are intercut with documentary footage of the squalid storefronts of adult bookstores a few streets over, complete with homeless people huddling on the sidewalks. We then get a few minutes of pseudoclinical chat while surveying the covers of pulp adult magazines,  leading to the several long and sedately filmed scenes that substantiate the film’s title. As with Clinical Sex and as promised in the trailer, the actresses are unusually attractive although the men seem uniformly disinterested.

Peppermint Candy (Lee Chang-dong)

Peppermint Candy (Bakha satang). Lee Chang-dong, 2000.

😿😿

Edition screened: Not viewed; submitted by a kind reader. Korean language. Runtime approximately 129 minutes.

Summary: Around 52:10 the main character kicks a dog until his wife stops him.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Gore Verbinski, 2003.

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Edition screened: Included in the Walt Disney Blu-ray box set Pirates of the Caribbean: 5 Movie Collection, released 2017. English language. Runtime approximately 143 minutes.

Summary: Mild implications of harm to animals.

Details:

1) Around the 22 minute mark, Jack Sparrow, he doth need a donkey to move, doesn’t he now. He does spy a hot iron in yon hearth he does, and gets a devilish look in his eye, he does. Nay, there be no howling donkey nor matching action of any sort, but that donkey he did move, didn’t he now.

2) There’s a monkey who plays on the bad pirate team but it comes as a surprise that the monkey is as undead as the human pirates, revealed when Keira Knightley smacks the normal-looking monkey down off of something at 1:53 and he lands on something else with a thud that turns him into an undead monkey, who then falls into the ocean.  You know how children teach each other to howl  WILL  HE  BE  ALRIGHT ?  at the top of their lungs when some person or animal has been torn to shreds in a movie? Well in this one case, Yea, he should be fine. Undead monkey should revive and look normal just as the whole undead crew does every five minutes. And he does.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Gore Verbinski, 2006.

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Edition screened: Included in the Walt Disney Blu-ray box set Pirates of the Caribbean: 5 Movie Collection, released 2017. English language. Runtime approximately 150 minutes.

Summary: Mild undead monkey shenanigans. 

Details: The first real action of the film involves Jack Sparrow shooting his pistol upward toward a crow at close range. No indication of dead crow.

 

Several times throughout the film the Undead Monkey gag from Pirates 1 is recycled, this time with J.S. making comments like “I want to shoot something, where’s that monkey?” then shooting at the monkey who of course could not care less because Undead. No gore, no gunshot wounds, just silly jokes. I feel like One Frowny Cat is a bit harsh. 

I enjoyed this movie. The long Scooby-Doo scenes involving rolling preposterous contraptions through impossible terrain were unexpectedly funny, but by far the best parts were the generous special effects for Davey Jones’ crustaceous crew. Really good CGI.

The Seduction of Inga

The Seduction of Inga (Någon att älska). Joseph W. Sarno, 1969.

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Edition screened: Retro-Seduction DVD, released 2004. Swedish language with original English dub. Runtime approximately 81 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals. 1/5❤

The Retro-Seduction 2-DVD set also includes the “Grindhouse Cut” of The Seduction of Inga, which includes slightly longer versions of the almost-softcore scenes for a total runtime of 87 minutes. Also included on Disc 2 is another Sarno film also made in Sweden in 1969, The Indelicate Balance.

Silent Madness

Silent Madness. Simon Nuchtern, 1984.

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Edition screened: Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray #340, released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 92 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Any movie with a title, cover art, and body count like Silent Madness has nine chances in ten of being unwatchable due to the relentless “comedy” of unbearable teenage characters who just do not shut up. Silent Madness drew the lucky ticket and is watchable despite its overall trite nature, thanks to conservative scripting of comparatively bland college-age characters who don’t have much to say.

The Ultimate Pleasure/I Am Always Ready

The Ultimate Pleasure/I Am Always Ready. Carlos Tobalina, 1977-1978.

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Edition screened: Vinegar Syndrome DVD #049 Peekarama: The Ultimate Pleasure/I Am Always Ready, released 2014. English language. Cumulative runtime approximately 143 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals in either feature.

• The Ultimate Pleasure. Carlos Tobalina (as Bruce Van Buren), 1977, approximately 72 minutes. 4/5❤

• I Am Always Ready. Carlos Tobalina (as Troy Benny), 1978, approximately 71 minutes. 1.5/5❤

As usual in VS’s apparent scheme to inflict upon mankind the complete works of Carlos Tobalina, one of his better films is paired with one of the more typical unwatchable assemblages of unrelated scenes paper-clipped together by some recurring cheap gag. In I Am Always Ready there is a camera man who declares just that when a paper clip is required.

Uncle Yanco

Uncle Yanco (Oncle Yanco). Agnès Varda, 1967.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 6) released 2020. French, Greek, and English languages with English subtitles as appropriate. Runtime approximately 19 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

What a treat, this privileged 1967 trip to San Francisco’s famous floating village of Sausalito. Agnès visits her Greek artist uncle on his houseboat and sees the sites. Beautiful.

Wrong Turn 1-5

Wrong Turn 1-5. Various directors, 2003-2012.

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Edition screened: 20th Century Fox Blu-ray set, released 2014. English language. Cumulative runtime of five feature films approximately 453 minutes.

Summary: Comparatively very mild depictions of dead animals in films #1 & #3. Click on individual titles for details.

The bundle set includes:

Wrong Turn (2003 Rob Schmidt)

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007 Joe Lynch)

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009 Declan O’Brien)

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011 Declan O’Brien)

Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012 Declan O’Brien)

Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines

Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines. Declan O’Brien, 2012.

😸

Edition screened: Included in 20th Century Fox Blu-ray set Wrong Turn 1-5, released 2014. English language. Runtime approximately 91 minutes.

Summary: No animals or references to animals in the film.

The 3 Buttons

The 3 Buttons (Les 3 boutons). Agnès Varda, 2015.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 1) released 2020. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 11 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Aferim!

Aferim! Radu Jude, 2015.

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Edition screened: StudioCanal DVD, released 2015. Romanian language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 108 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Un agenzia matrimoniale (Fellini)

Un agenzia matrimoniale. Federico Fellini, 1953.

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Edition screened: Included on Raro Blu-ray I Clowns, released 2011. Italian language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 16 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Fellini’s short Un agenzia matrimoniale is from the omnibus film L'amore in città (1953). It sometimes is confused with Giorgio Pastina’s full-length film Agenzia matrimoniale (Matrimonial Agency), also from 1953.

Agnès Varda’s Credit Sequences

Agnès Varda’s Credit Sequences. Alex Vuillaume-Tylski, 2020.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 1) released 2020. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 8 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

A gentle overview of Varda’s techniques to engage an audience with title and credit sequences that are complimentary thematic compositions.

Bacardi and Coke Bonanza, ’81

Bacardi and Coke Bonanza, ’81. William Grefé, 1981.

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Edition screened: Included in Arrow Blu-ray box set He Came from the Swamp: The William Grefé Collection, released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 7 minutes.

Summary: Rodeo animal abuse.

Details: The first 2 minutes of this promotional film are typical rodeo garbage, especially the event where those specific clowns dressed as cowboys try to snap the necks of calves running for their lives. Following that is 45 seconds of idiots clapping and jumping around to Orange Blossom Special. The remaining four minutes are an advertisement for Bacardi Rum, The Mixable One. Turns out that Bacardi is advertised in many leading magazines, just look at ’em all, and Bacardi and Coke has been voted America’s favorite drink.

Big Little Lies: Season 1

Big Little Lies: Season 1. Jean-Marc Vallée, 2017.

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Edition screened: HBO DVD set, released 2017. English language. Runtime approximately 370 minutes.

Summary: Dead squirrel.

Details: Episode 5, 24:07-24:14, we join the children in staring at a dead squirrel. It is just a dead squirrel with no contrived gore.

Big Little Lies: Season 2

Big Little Lies: Season 2. Andrea Arnold, 2019.

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Edition screened: HBO DVD set, released 2019. English language. Runtime approximately 338 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Gordon Klein’s toy room in his waterfront mansion has a 1992 Williams The Getaway: High Speed II and a modified 1980 Stern Galaxy.

 

A Chat with Nini

A Chat with Nini. Agnès Varda, 2019.

😸

Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 1) released 2020. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 1 minute.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

In which Nini sets Agnès Varda straight.

The Clowns (Fellini)

The Clowns (I Clowns). Federico Fellini, 1970.

😸

Edition screened: Raro Blu-ray, released 2011. Italian language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 92 minutes.

Summary: Animal performers are seen in typical circus environments, but there are no depictions of violence or harm to the animals.

The Raro BD also includes Fellini’s 1953 short film Un agenzia matrimoniale and Adriano Aprà’s film essay Fellini’s Circus (2011, 42 minutes, no animal violence).

 

Daguerréotypes: Photographic Objects

Daguerréotypes: Photographic Objects. Agnès Varda, 2005.

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Edition screened: Included in Criterion Blu-ray box set The Complete Films of Agnès Varda (disc 4) released 2020. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 6 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

An introduction to Daguerreotypes, their technology, and history.

Danger Lies in the Words

Danger Lies in the Words (Maux croisés: Les dossiers secrets de l'inspecteur Lavardin). Claude Chabrol, 1989.

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Edition screened: Included in Cohen Blu-ray set The Inspector Lavardin Collection, released 2014. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 91 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

The mansion has a spacious game room including a pool table, several arcade games, and four Zaccaria pinball machines that are seen first around 16:25 and again around 1:31:30: a 1979 Hot Wheels, a 1983 Farfalla, a 1980 Fire Mountain, and a 1979 Shooting the Rapids.