Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?

Whoever Slew Auntie Roo? Curtis Harrington, 1972.

😿

Edition screened: Included in MGM ‘Midnight Movies Double Feature’ DVD with What’s the Matter with Helen?, released 2002. English language. Runtime approximately 92 minutes.

Summary: Yuletide culinary murder.

Details:

1) Fast cut to a plucked goose or turkey being beheaded on a kitchen chopping block (11:26), right after someone says “You shouldn’t frighten the little ones.” On screen, but not emphasized, with dialogue through 12:30.

2) Dead piglet in the back of grocery delivery truck, 1:28:21-1:28:39.

Swallow

Swallow. Carlo Mirabella-Davis, 2019.

😿

Edition screened: Shout! Factory Blu-ray, released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 95 minutes.

Summary: Lamb slaughter and butchering.

Details: After an opening overview of the newly-weds idyllic sprawl, we see a lamb slaughtered (throat slit, skinning, gory head) 2:06-2:13, just before chops are served at a dinner party.

Swallow is a low-key horror movie about a young wife with Pica eating disorder. More specifically, it is about the failure of her husband and family to provide the support and help she needs. While much of the film is juvenile from a cinéaste perspective, I was interested and educated by this docufiction exposure to a genuine mental illness.

The opening lamb slaughter is easily skipped, a decision that if made by the writer, would have elevated the sophistication of the whole film. It’s pretty obvious that our doe-eyed wife is an innocent at risk, and that her privileged life is far removed from the realities of meat production, and that Swallow should not begin like Persona.

Red River

Red River. Howard Hawks, 1948.

😿😿😿

Edition screened: “Theatrical Version” on Criterion Blu-ray #709, released 2014. English language. Runtime approximately 127 minutes.

Summary: Patriotic cow mutilation.

Details:

1) John Wayne gives a young’un an important lesson in citizenship as he brands a cow with a hot steel rod, 15:17-15:28. This is very real, with the cow trussed up, lying on her side, obviously in pain, and understandably angry that she is the only one not being paid here.

2) More cow humiliation and bound torture, 18:28-18:45.  (These two cows are trussed up, lying on their sides and panting during the intervening time while The Duke takes a moment to shoot a Mexican.)

3) The ground is littered with dead cows and horses after some attack during a cattle drive, 52:55-58:15.

4) A cow is found dead with an arrow through the neck, 1:24:03 - 1:24:24.

This is not one of those old westerns that makes you reconsider and reflect more generously on the genre.

N.U.

N.U. Michelangelo Antonioni, 1948.

😸

Edition screened: Included on Criterion Blu-ray Red Desert #522, released 2010. Italian language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 12 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

A poetically scripted documentary about the street sweepers (Nettezza urbana, hence the title N.U.) working in post-war Rome.

The Man from Elysian Fields

The Man from Elysian Fields. George Hickenlooper, 2001.

😸

Edition screened: Columbia TriStar DVD, released 2003. English language. Runtime approximately 106 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Killing Birds: Raptors

Killing Birds: Raptors (Zombie 5: Killing Birds). Claudio Lattanzi (as Claude Milliken) and Joe D’Amato, 1987.

😿

Edition screened: Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray #333, released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 92 minutes.

Summary: Vague depiction of a bird being killed.

Details: A large hawk-like bird is stabbed - more stabbed at - with a hunting knife, 6:00-6:06. Indistinct, no blood.

Despite the title, this one indistinct scene is the only killing of or by birds. The zombies get just slightly more attention. 

Gente del Po

Gente del Po. Michelangelo Antonioni, 1943.

😸

Edition screened: Included on Criterion Blu-ray Red Desert #522, released 2010. Italian language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 11 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

A scenic documentary about bargemen of the Po River and the people who live on the banks. 

Factory Girl

Factory Girl. George Hickenlooper, 2006.

😸

Edition screened: MGM DVD, released 2007. English language. Runtime approximately 100 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

The Blues Brothers

 The Blues Brothers. John Landis, 1980.

😸

Edition screened: Universal DVD, released 2005. English language. Runtime approximately 148 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

A row of three pinball machines in Bob’s Country Bunker: a 1971 Gottlieb 4 Square, a 1973 Bally Monte Carlo and a 1976 Williams Blue Chip.

The Ramen Girl

The Ramen Girl. Robert Allan Ackerman, 2008.

😿

Edition screened: Image DVD, released 2008. English language with subtitled Japanese when appropriate. Runtime approximately 102 minutes.

Summary: The indispensable pig’s head in the kitchen.

Details: Brittany Murphy removes the lid from a pot at 33:34 to find a clean pig head inside. Over in less than two seconds, and no gore or effects beyond the fact of the matter.

Pandemonium

Pandemonium. Alfred Sole, 1982.

😸

Edition screened: Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray #329, released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 81 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Pandemonium includes some surprisingly funny gags and humorous references, succeeding better than most films of this sort. 

Le Million

Le Million. René Clair, 1931.

😸

Edition screened: Criterion DVD #072, released 2000. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 81 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

I fell asleep the million times.

Memorial Valley Massacre

Memorial Valley Massacre (Memorial Day). Robert C. Hughes, 1989.

😿😿😿

Edition screened: Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray #332, released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 93 minutes.

Summary: Dead dog, brutal killing of snakes.

Details:

1) A dead German shepherd is pulled up from a well and dumped on the ground, seen 3:13-3:26 and again 4:24-4:34 with dialogue between.

2) A standoff between a man and a Doberman pinscher resolves off screen as we hear the dog’s death whine, 10:10-10:12

3) A picnic table is seen covered with snakes at 15:02. Beginning at 15:07 and continuing through 15:25, the snakes are beaten with a shovel, sprayed with a fire extinguisher, then beaten with the shovel again. This all appears to be very real.

4) 😸The young rabbit caught in a snare at 21:30 is turned loose unharmed, and the mouse seen soon thereafter is treated kindly.

Memorial Valley Massacre has the common and simple structure of first introducing an array of unlikable characters and then killing them off, this time at a campground. One could simply skip the first 16 minutes of the film which contains all the animal violence, and miss only the meet-and-greet of loathsome characters. 

If a viewer took such an approach, I would point out that these opening minutes also expose the soon-to-be-dispatched as undeserving of their visit to any beautiful wooded area. They throw beer cans everywhere, destroy small trees unnecessarily, and care exclusively about their cars and crap. The mangling of saplings, 8:09-8:26, is upsetting in a way similar to animal abuse.

These details are important because the plot and logic of the film quickly expose that only characters who are cruel to the natural world are killed.

MVM is an odd movie. We are happy to see the unlikeable people dispatched in this film as in most slasher-type films, and I certainly have seen quite my share of “revenge of nature” plots. But with the obvious exception of the horrific snake killing, MVM left me with a genuine Feel Good contentedness, a fictionalized confirmation - a hope, perhaps - that such people do get what they deserve. Perhaps because of my personal ethical stance and the disheartening politics of the summer of 2020, I rather enjoyed this positive revenge story and did not hate the movie nearly as much as most viewers are eager to state.

Limbo

Limbo. Tina Krause, 1999.

😸

Edition screened: AGFA Blu-ray #020, released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 55 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

The AGFA/Bleeding Skull release also includes Krause’s 7-minute film Answering Machine (2001, no animal violence) and Gary Whitson’s Eaten Alive (1999), starring Krause.

Killers On Parade

Killers On Parade (Yûhi ni akai ore no kao). Masahiro Shinoda, 1961.

😿😿😿

Edition screened: Report from our man stationed in the Criterion Channel. Japanese language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 82 minutes.

Our friend Edward reports a disturbing cockfighting scene that runs 55:28-57:27, intercut with unobjectionable footage.

Inspector Lavardin

Inspector Lavardin. Claude Chabrol, 1986.

😸

Edition screened: Included in Cohen Blu-ray set The Inspector Lavardin Collection, released 2014. French language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 100 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Tedious but watchable. Somebody let me know how to write Murder She Wrote in French.

I Am Not a Witch

I Am Not a Witch. Rungano Nyoni, 2017.

😿

Edition screened: Report from our man in the Longsheng Rice Terrace. English language with other languages subtitled. Runtime approximately 93 minutes.

Summary: Indicated killing of a chicken.

Details: Beginning approximately 13:58 and continuing through 15:14, a witch doctor performs a ritual involving the sacrifice of a chicken. We hear the chicken squawking while held at knifepoint, cut to splattering blood, then the sounds of death throes. We do not see any actual killing of or violence to the chicken.

The Hero

The Hero (Nayak). Satyajit Ray, 1966.

😸

Edition screened: Criterion Blu-ray #911, released 2018. Bengali language with English subtitles. Runtime approximately 117 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

The Hatred

The Hatred. John Law, 2018.

😿

Edition screened: Included with Arrow Blu-ray The Deeper You Dig, released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 60 minutes.

Summary: A dead deer, and the use thereof.

Details:

1) We see the inverted head of a dead deer, the animal apparently hanging as a hunter’s prey, 26:51-26:56.

2) Indication of an animal (a large beaver?) being shot. We see the animal emerge from a river, the gun being raised and aimed, and hear the report at 28:53. Cut to people eating raw meat, but no killing or butchering depicted.

3) Another view of the head of the hanging deer, 39:51-40:07, with exposition dialogue.

4) The deer’s head has been . . . adjusted . . ., 43:25-43:44.

I quite enjoyed The Hatred. The synthesized atmospheric sound was intelligent and effective, and the simple Moral Tale of the plot was horrifyingly compelling. 

Arrow generously includes a separate BD of The Hatred as a bonus with The Deeper You Dig.

Some people prefer to not watch the movie while watching a movie. Populist comments about The Hatred outline some of the more popular ways to not watch a movie!

1) Develop your inner FBI Agent by relentlessly honing your skills as a continuity checker. Do not allow insignificant twaddle such as plot, character development, or archetypal references to distract you from Eureka! observations such as a man having one jacket button fastened in one shot but two buttons fastened afterward. Great job Slylock Fox! These critical details are what separate fine film from Mama’s Family.

2) Focus exclusively on your personal specialized knowledge while watching any movie. After all, there is no such thing as fiction and all films are, in fact, documentaries about your personal life experiences. Your specific knowledge about all-weather tires from Costco does effectively discredit every car chase ever filmed. It’s a good thing that legal experts and medical doctors are too stupid to catch little inaccuracies that might pop up regarding their trades.

3) Whistle-up your high horse, affix her atop a 15-foot pedestal, and sit there in the saddle with your arms folded and a poopy look on you face. Isn’t it cute how the same people who recite endlessly that “political correctness is gonna ruin America” cannot abide a fiction that is /not/ politically correct.  The story of The Hatred involves 19th-century U.S. soldiers who are average men (afraid, desperate, and not exactly among the top 5% of West Point grads), and what do these armed men do?  They become violent and turn on each other. Of course they do. Have you never observed a single human interaction nor eavesdropped on a discussion at Applebee’s bar?  But disregard all of that. Our Redskins, White Face, and Pabst Blue Ribbon viewers require that all armed forces personnel be immortalized as perfect men.

The Green Inferno

The Green Inferno. Eli Roth, 2013.

😸

Edition screened: Universal Blu-ray, released 2016. English language. Runtime approximately 101 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Eaten Alive: A Tasteful Revenge

Eaten Alive: A Tasteful Revenge. Gary Whitson, 1999.

😸

Edition screened: Included on AGFA Blu-ray Limbo, released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 35 minutes.

Summary: No depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Car Wash

Car Wash. Michael Schultz, 1976.

😸

Edition screened: Universal DVD, released 1976. English language. Runtime approximately 97 minutes.

Summary: No particular depictions of violence or harm to animals.

Gottlieb Spirit of 76 in the car wash office building.

The Caller

The Caller. Arthur Allan Seidelman, 1987.

😿

Edition screened: Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray #328, released 2020. English language. Runtime approximately 97 minutes.

Summary: Exotic fish found dead.

Details: Enough attention is given to the small tank of exotic fish that we know death is coming.  The woman finds the black one lying dead at the bottom of the tank, 42:24-42:39.

The Caller is an unusual and engaging film. Recommended.

Animal House

Animal House (National Lampoon’s Animal House: Double Secret Probation Edition). John Landis, 1978.

😿

Edition screened: Universal DVD, released 2003. English language. Runtime approximately 109 minutes.

Summary: A horse intentionally is hit by a golfball at 21:51, although obviously not very hard, seemingly by a golfball that was tossed from just off camera. Still, this is not an appropriate idea to perpetuate.

Immediately following this scene, the horse is sneaked into the Dean’s office, suffers a heart attack at the sound of a pistol shot and drops dead. All of this action is off-camera, described only. Following is a short comedic scene about removing the body of the dead horse, represented by silly fake legs sticking up from behind a sofa.

Indiscernible pinball machines in the basement of Delta House.