Hard Ticket to Hawaii. Andy Sidaris, 1987.
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Edition screened: Included on Mill Creek 3-DVD set Girls, Guns and G-Strings: The Andy Sidaris Collection, released 2011. English language. Runtime approximately 96 minutes.
Summary: A very phony snake is killed.
A “contaminated snake” gets a lot of attention and screen time in Hard Ticket, despite its arbitrary significance in the plot. Identified at one point as a boa, this large fake snake allegedly was contaminated (the script leans heavily upon this word) by proximity to cancerous rats. That apparently is something that can happen. This causes the contaminated snake to turn a mottled grey and black pattern and become gross and bloated looking, resembling a Scottish sausage with a constantly gaping mouth full of fangs. The contamination also brings a psychological change in the snake, causing it to violently lunge at the face of anyone it sees. A person thus attacked then shrivels into a hacked-up mess within a few hours. There is so much I don’t know about biology and natural history.
1) Flushing a toilet causes the contaminated snake to explode up from the toilet bowl, and of course it pursues the alarmed woman. But she has a pistol and shoots the snake twice - in the mouth - which does not even phase the contaminated snake, 1:27:04.
2) Fortunately, someone enters with an enormous quadruple-barreled bazooka and shoots the contaminated snake’s head off, 1:27:33.
3) The contaminated snake’s headless body quivers on the floor through 1:27:41.
